


Trophy

by Aliemah



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Apologies, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Miscommunication, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 17:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13595082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aliemah/pseuds/Aliemah
Summary: Originally posted on tumblr.Jane Shepard finds herself at the center of a petty argument between two of her best friends, and prior lovers. She thought they agreed to be over it, but she's been wrong before.





	Trophy

**Author's Note:**

> I love Garrus and Kaidan equally. This fic is not meant to hate on one or the other. This is simply meant to bring to light how I feel about the "fandom wars" that I often see occurring between the two. And frankly, I feel like I did a damn fine job with it. Comments and feedback are always welcome.

“Commander, it seems that officers Vakarian and Alenko are in a… disagreement in the main battery.” EDI chimed as Jane stepped into the elevator. She rolled her eyes and pushed for the correct level.

“Dear God, not this again.” She mumbled, already pissed that she had missed her morning coffee. Now she was missing her damn tea time that she aside to have so she had a moment to herself every now and then. But no, she wasn’t going to have that today, either. Not with these two going back to the bickering they swore they’d stop - or rather that’s what she assumed this was about.

 ****“EDI, lock the elevator once I get off, please.” Jane said, scratching at the back of her head and running a hand through her hair. There was no reply, but once she got off the elevator, the call button turned red. She made headway for the main battery, surprised there was no one in the mess at this hour. Another couple of steps and she realized why - the pair of men could be heard through the door all the way out here. She braced herself as she got closer, the door opening a bit pre-maturely.

Just in time to see and narrowly avoid some object being hurled in her general direction. Both watched as she ducked, and there was a moment, a very brief one, where she could see sheer panic and terror on their faces, realizing what could have happened had she been hit. Jane simply stood upright again, looked back past her at the rolling tube she assumed was for something relatively important, and then back to them. Crossing her arms, she waited patiently for one of them to start talking.

Neither said anything, and the three stood there for a few awkward minutes. Jane was growing more furious by the second, while it seemed neither man wanted to own up to the squabble. She sighed, and shook her head.

“If you two can’t work together, I can arrange it so you two never see one another. But you both know I value your skills when I have to put on my fucking armor, or when there’s something that’s gone wrong.” Jane said with an incredibly stern voice. She felt like her mother for a moment. “Now, I was told you two were having a disagreement, and I guess that all led up to someone throwing whatever the fuck that was back there? I don’t care that I almost got hit, that’s a regular day for me, but what I want to know is why the two of you have resorted to throwing objects at each other, and why the phrase ‘cut that shit out’ doesn’t seem to click with either of you.”

Again, she was met by silence. But not for long.

“I just came to ask about a particular algorithm I saw he’d put into the-” Kaidan paused, seeing that Jane was already lost,”… that he put into the defense system.”

“And then?” she asked, looking pointedly at Garrus, who looked even more like a child being scolded than Kaidan did.

“I mentioned that I hadn’t run it by you yet, so he probably shouldn’t look into it too much.” Garrus shrugged, turning slightly to run his talons along the metal railing, shifting his weight back on his feet.

“So what happened to make you two resort to throwing that thing, which I’m still not even sure what it is?” she gestured behind her.

“It’s a… part for the engine Tali wanted me to look at.” Garrus spoke up again.

“Then I assume it’s very important why are you throwing it?” the aggravation in her voice was clear at this point, if her glaring daggers wasn’t clear enough.

“I asked why he hadn’t run it by you, since I found this a few days ago and it’s been in place since we left that Cerberus outpost.”

“That’s a good question we can address later. Garrus?”

“There were a few… other things I wanted to talk to you about, but I haven’t been sure how to approach them.”

“By all means, let’s talk now. You’ve already interrupted my schedule, we might as well make the most of it.”

“Shepard, it’s a bit personal-”

“Didn’t stop you from telling me.” Kaidan interrupted.

“Well clearly, I thought I could trust you to be understanding.”

“How could I understand you talking bad about me to my face? About something you know I’ve been dealing with for a while?”

“From what I’d heard, you didn’t seem entirely fit for duty, Kaidan.” Garrus growled, the two of them forgetting Jane was there. She should have stepped in. She should have ended it. But instead, she leaned back, wanting to see how they would hash this out.

“My personal business shouldn’t concern you, Garrus. At least I can keep it separate from my work and talk to Shepard when something comes up!”

“Forgive me for wanting to approach such a delicate matter with some respect, and taking time to do that.” Garrus said, the amount of sarcasm dripping from his words both impressing Jane and causing her to almost laugh. She couldn’t possibly imagine where he’d picked up that mannerism from.

“You shouldn’t have to approach the matter because it’s not an issue. I can put it behind me.”

“Oh you’d like to put it behind you.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Alright!” Jane finally snapped, her irritation back in a flash. She brought her hand to her temple, eyes closed. “Will someone shed some light on what the fuck you two are talking about? I keep hearing something about an issue involving someone, so what is it?” Jane opened her eyes and looked between them. “Well?”

“I don’t think Kaidan’s fit for duty because he seems to be distracted.” Garrus folded his arms over his chest and glared over at Kaidan.

“Yeah, well, he’s not the only one.” Kaidan mumbled.

“Distracted by what, pray tell?” she hissed, wishing they would spit it out, and just admit what she knew was happening.

Was it nice to have some attention? Sure. Especially since they were both very fine examples  of the best of their species. Jane wouldn’t lie about the fact she’d spent more than a few nights just imagining what they might be like if she gave one, or on a few occasions both, her full attention. Unfortunately, the situation demanded some more serious consideration about those kinds of frivolities, and the importance of it in her life. Jane thought she had made that clear when Garrus first came back, seeming to be rather direct about what he wanted from their pre-existing relationship. And after the coup on the Citadel, she and Kaidan had a rather lengthy talk as well; as much as she loved both of them, and she did, she just didn’t have the time to give them the proper attention, and if it distracted her from their mission then it might put everyone’s lives in danger.

“You.” they both managed to spit out at relatively the same time. Neither could bear to look up, it seemed, because they were both facing away from one another, and didn’t even look up when she sighed, letting her head fall back.

“For fuck’s sake…” she groaned, “you two both know how I feel about this. I can’t afford the distraction, and I genuinely think both of you deserve more attention than I can give you. Now,” she paused and gave a small laugh, “I don’t know what you two can’t understand about that, so will you please enlighten me to the issue with the decision I’ve already come to, accepted, and moved on from?”

Silence. Again. She was going to end up sending someone to the medbay soon if someone didn’t speak up. Why they couldn’t seem to just speak to her was a little more than baffling. And they both seemed to get riled up again, though in silence. 

“Garrus is under the impression that I’m not worthy enough for you to spend your time with.” Kaidan snapped, the tone reminiscent of the one he’d used on Horizon. It still hurt thinking about it, but that was water under the bridge. Though that didn’t stop the pain flashing across her face when he used that tone.

“Because she’s obviously still hurt over what you did to her!”

“I’m not the only one, Garrus! There have been a countless number of people who’ve hurt her, and you don’t think I don’t feel bad about what I did?”

“No, I don’t think you feel bad about it. I think you’re proud of what you did.”

“I stuck to what I knew, what I could count on, what I believed in. You used to understand loyalty, but I don’t think your morals are exactly the same as they used to be.”

“People change.”

“I’m well aware. But don’t think that my miscommunication with her compares at all to the fact you became a self-righteous, homicidal vigilante trying to live up to the illusion that you would ever come close to what she is.” Kaidan had long since turned back towards Garrus, but now he stepped up, the height difference a bit laughable at the intimidation tactic Kaidan was now using. “You were on a fucking power trip.”

A surprising growl ripped from Garrus’ throat and Jane finally stepped in, physically pushing both of them to opposite sides of the room.

“You two can fight about this all you want.” she snapped, “I don’t care. I really don’t. If this is how you want to spend your free time, I won’t stop you. But you two need to wake up. I’m right here, I’ve heard everything you’ve been saying, and all I hear is both of you thinking that you deserve me like I’m some kind of god damn trophy to be won!”

“That’s not-” Garrus moved to take a step forward.

“Don’t you fucking dare move, Vakarian.” she said in a low, warning voice as she held up a finger to stop him. “And don’t tell me I’m wrong. That’s all this ever boils down to - who’s more deserving of Shepard, who gets to claim her and carry her around on their arm like a prize that’s been won? Well guess what, I’m not going to let anyone parade me around, unless they are equally deserving of that treatment to me. If you two would sit back and look at yourselves, I don’t think it’s hard to see why I’m not jumping at the chance to be with either of you. You’re too absorbed in fighting each other over me, when you’ve both been told that while I think you’re worth my time, there are more pressing matters.” Jane paused for a minute to catch her breath, a little emotional over what she had to say next. She didn’t bother to hide her wavering voice. “You two were worth my time, but if you can’t get over yourselves, you’ll just have to settle for someone else. I’m not going to put up with someone who puts a friendship in jeopardy just because they fucked up in the past. You can’t change what’s already happened. Move on.”

She turned to leave, letting them sort out the rest as she wiped her eyes of the non-existent tears. She squared her shoulders, stepped back into the elevator, and returned to her usual rounds, making sure to ignore and avoid Kaidan and Garrus for a few days. She didn’t even bother trying to take either on a mission with her, instead bringing along James and Liara, who proved to be exactly who she needed. It was a nice break from the two, and she knew she’d have to resurface and talk to them again at some point.

But, they’d have to work out their problems, first. And she would wait as long as she had to for that to happen.

* * *

Her terminal blinked awake as she walked into the cabin, and sat down at the desk a moment later. Jane ran a hand through her hair, sighing before she opened up the many messages she’d neglected over the past couple of days that weren’t mission related. She set her cup of tea down, and began reading through each message individually, only replying to a handful before she got to the two messages she’d seen that morning, and had failed to give any mind to until now.

_Jane,_

_I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I made you think you weren’t worth more than some achievement. Everyone knows you’re still a person, but it’s hard to think of someone that does so many great things as someone who is, in fact, fragile, and capable of making their own decisions._

_If it’s going to come between any of the people I care for, and trust, I’d rather put aside my feelings and have you as a friend. You being happy means more to me than getting to spend time with you._

_I never meant to hurt you, or make you feel like you were less than you are. I’m always here to talk to you, if you need it._

_Signed,  
Kaidan_

She took a minute to digest what she’d read, laughing at how apologetic he was and reminding herself to bring that up when she eventually went to talk to him. It was a little embarrassing how much he lived up to the old Canadian stereotype, sometimes, but it was endearing. He never lied about how he felt, either, and it meant quite a bit to her to know that he’d put everything aside if it made things better for her, and ultimately for whatever relationship they might still have.

Jane was going to reply, but instead of hitting reply, she opened up Garrus’ message, and began reading through that as well.

_Shepard,_

_You shouldn’t have had to deal with any of what happened. It was petty, and I let something in the past get in the way of what needed to be done. It seems like this is something that keeps happening with me, you’d think I would learn from it by now._

_Kaidan and I have talked, and we both agreed that whatever you want will have to be what we accept. Neither of us can control you, and despite what we want, you should get to put yourself first every now and then. Of course I’d like things to be a certain way, but it wouldn’t be the first time if I didn’t get what I wanted._

_Let me know if you need anything._

_Garrus_

Now, Jane was feeling sorry for both of them. She was glad they’d talked, and it appeared they could put all this aside. That’s all she’d wanted. But what was better was that they’d both taken what she’d said to heart, and thought about what had happened to make her say that. Neither one wanted to be without her, but they could settle for having her there at all, as a friend. The relationship  _with_  her was more important than a more serious commitment  _from_  her.

She decided to reply to both of them in one message. Her little personal break could be interrupted to have both of them there so they could all talk. Maybe they needed a break too, every now and then.

_If you’d like to, you’re welcome to come up to the cabin for a bit, and put work aside. I think it might be good for the three of us to talk, and make sure we’re all on the same page._

_That, and I think you two could use some time away from work. I haven’t been too kind in that regard, and I think that might have been part of the issue to begin with. I’ll try to fix that, and you two need to let me know if you feel like you need a break in the future._

_Anyway, I’ll leave the door unlocked, feel free to bring a drink if you’d like._

_Jane_


End file.
